•• Pretty Distraction ••

Happy Mother’s day all you mother’s out there. Past, present, future. Whether you are an adoptive mother, someone who is in the role of being a mom even though you aren’t, or you are a mother in anyway… today is your day. I hope that you have it full of love and laughter. Take time to enjoy it. You’ve earned it!

Today, my son would have been 15 years old. It’s been a reflective day for me, thinking about how different my life would be right now. I go through phases of.. am I still a mom, can I still celebrate those joys? I know, once a mom… always a mom, but there are times that I think it’s silly of me to celebrate. I only had 16 days with my son. I wouldn’t give up anything in the world to have missed those days though. I carried him, felt him, loved him for 9 months and 16 days. And, even if I knew the outcome would be the same, I wouldn’t change it for a second. The most beautiful and special boy in the world was a part of my life, and will always live on in my heart.

I look around and see children, teens, adults, fighting with their parents and family members, and I hate it. Do they not realize the precious gift that they have right there in front of them? Put aside all those silly differences, all the unimportant disagreements… cherish the time you have. It can all be gone in a blink of an eye, and  you don’t want to sit there and think.. ‘if only I would have said this or that, did this or that.” Make the best of the here and now.

~steps off my soapbox~

Anyway, have a very Happy Mother’s Day!!

xoxo, ~pretty

I got home from Texas on Sunday evening. It was a great mini-vacation, and I had much needed laughter and relaxation and of course shopping. Monday night Oklahoma got hit with some sleet, ice, and snow. So, of course… things practically shut down. Schools were closed on Tuesday and the roads were bad. I didn’t get much snow around me, only a light layer.. most of what I got was sleet and ice. So, needless to say… I stayed home. It was nice. I watched some TV shows that I had DVR’d. I really don’t know how I survived before without this invention? I mean, seriously. Who doesn’t like to zoom past the bad commercials? Or maybe rewind and catch that song or word again? It’s Heaven, with a capital H.  This morning the roads were still a little slick, so I went in late, only about an hour and half late.. so not too bad. Of course, my workload will suffer, because I left work Monday 2 hours early due to the storm coming in. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love the winter. I love the snow and the gray skies, I’m weird like that. I just don’t like having to get out and drive in it. As long as I can stay home, I’m good!

I have to play catch up with school work. I have 2 assignments from last week, and then 4 from this week to get completed. Each lecture is about 45 minutes long, and each homework assignment takes about an hour or so to do. Ugh!!

You meet your soulmate. You know how it goes. You finish each others’ sentences and thoughts. You share a lot, if not all, of the same feelings. You adore each other. You want to spend every moment you can with them. You share laughter, fears, dreams, concerns, wishes, tears, good news, bad news, everything. You share yourself. You start, easily, breaking down the walls you once had. You let them in, and before you know you… you’re swept away with love. Not an ordinary love. This is something you can’t explain. You don’t really know how to describe it, and only those who have found it… could even begin to understand. You dream together, and of the future.

Then… something happens. An outside influence, something that can’t be controlled… but, it… takes your soulmate away. You know, there’s no other option… it hurts, and it breaks you, but you don’t have control over it. Your heart aches and you try to remember how to breathe.

You’re torn with what you know is right, and what you want to be right. You close your eyes, to blink back the tears that come for no warning. You take a tiny step forward, you know you’ve been here… well, this similar place, but never quite… here, before.

Take a deep breath… and… wait to exhale.

Well, I’m another year older. Whee.

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a nice day. Had a nice brunch, did some shopping, spent some time around family, and then a nice dinner.

Today, I’ve been lazy… laying around watching movies (The Women), watching trashy reality TV (The Real Housewives of Atlanta), and chatted some.

I know, I can hardly contain the excitement, too.

I’m finally done with all of the wrapping, the stuffings are stocked, or something like that. Now, I’ve got Mamma Mia! in the DVD player, new sheets and comforter on my bed, and I’m snuggled in to try to drift off to sleep.

Here’s wishing you and yours, a wonderful and very Merry Christmas! May your holiday be filled with lots of friends, family, laughter, smiles, and love.

This has to be a first. I actually, upgraded to WordPress 2.7.. are you ready for it?

ALL BY MYSELF.

That’s right, I followed the guide, and haven’t had any problems…. yet.

Yay Me.

It’s late, so this probably won’t make sense.

What do you do, when you feel that you’ve met your soulmate…. but you feel that you might lose them due to things that are not under anyone’s control. Outisde influences. Complicated situations. And, all you want to do is hang on tight.

Is it selfish to hang on?

I’ve thought, many times, that I want to be a ‘popular blogger’. I’d love to make my name out there in the big bad blog world. But really, what do I have to write about? My life isn’t exciting. I work, I go to school, I squeeze in some reading, I occasionally hang out with family or friends. That’s it. I don’t have a child to write about, I could write about my dog I guess.. but who wants to read that? No one, that’s who. I don’t want to do a celebrity blog, fashion blog, or anything else like that. So.. what exactly do I blog on?

Of course, there’s still the high possibility that no one is reading this anyway, and I’m writing the empty space. “Hello, wall, how are you today?”

I’m moody, it will pass. Hang on for the ride.

Usually, this time of year is magical for me. I love the weather, the way the snow falls and makes everything… different. I love the music, the movies, the laughter, the lights, the pretty bows and wrapping paper, the decorations, the friendships, the family… the love. I love giving presents and seeing that persons face light up. I like making people happy. Every year, I look forward to Christmas.

Except, this year. For some reason, I can’t get into the Christmas Spirit. I’ve tried, I want to, but it just seems out of my grasp. I’m not sure what it is. Well, that’s not true. I kinda do know. It’s a multitude of stressful things that seem to be dive-bombing me lately. I know that I don’t have it worse than anyone else. I know that there are many, people who have much much worse than I do. But this year, I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere, pull a big blanket over me and disappear for a little while.

I’m hoping this goes away soon. I’d hate to miss out on the magic of Christmas, when I know that I’ll regret it later.

So…. it’s been awhile (as someone pointed out ~ahems~) since I’ve written anything here. So, I thought I’d give an update or a crazy post, at least.

Vegas was wonderful, for me, it was probably the best year yet. Though, last year at the Blue Man Group is giving it a run for it’s money. It was so much fun to be there with my Aunt and Uncle. We went to see the American Superstars show, and it was awesome as always! If you are ever in Vegas, really, you should check it out. It’s at the Stratosphere, and it’s so entertaining. Also, we went to play the Price Is Right show at Bally’s. It was okay, but nothing like we imagined. I probably wouldn’t do it again… the prizes weren’t all that great, especially for as much money as they made on the tickets. I really wanted to see Phantom at the Venetian, but wasn’t able to… maybe next time.

On Thursday, I woke up feeling a bit sick. I had a chill the night before, but shrugged it off to the desert coolness, and alergies that morning. Sadly, it got worse as teh day went on. By the time I was on the air plane, I had a fever. That was not a fun trip, that’s for sure. So, I’ve been sick ever since. A horrible cough, some fever off and on, and even ended up missing work Monday. It’s finally starting to ease up. The coughing fits aren’t near as often, so hopefully not much longer and I’ll be all good and new again. Wish me luck with that!

School is going okay… it’s a little rough this semester, but I know I’ll pull through it. I had a Chapter test when I came home from Vegas, that didn’t go so well. Then, I was still sick, but had a Mid-term on Thursday. Good news is that I passed that, which is much better than I expected! Now that I’m feeling better, I hope that I can get back on track with my homework.

Other things are going well for me. I’m finding happiness, and I’m excited about things. Without going too much into that, just know that I’m in a different place than I was before, and it can only get better, right? …. right.

So, that’s just a quick (or long and rambling) update from me. Who knows, I might just start doing the whole posting regularly thing. I know, shocking.