•• Pretty Distraction ••

So, it looks like the facility change at work is inevitiable. Sure, there are a couple of good points, but there are *so* many bad ones as well. Not only did they increase my facilities that I visit, now they are moving me out of my comfort zone. I’ve become content where I’m at. The people, the processes, the workload, everything. And now, they are moving me — more stress, heavier workload, and working with someone that I used to work with a long time ago, that didn’t always go so well. Ugh. It’s very frusterating to me. I want to be in MY place and working on my OWN. But, of course — I wasn’t given any choice in those matters. So yeah. Not happy about that at all.

School is going okay. Parts of it is pretty boring, but it’s not too difficult yet so that’s always good.

I had a wonderful weekend. I went to my Aunt & Uncles in Texas. I absolutely love it down there. I’m not sure what it is about being down there, but it just feels a little less stressful for me. Life seems easier for me when I’m down there. Sure, it might be because it’s just visiting and it’s not me living down there. But I can’t help but become intrigued by the ease of it all. Maybe it’s all because I feel that I’m in a rut, and I don’t like it.

I mean really, is it so hard to want to be able to write for a living, or photography, just something creative. To no longer work *for* someone else, and to work at doing something that *I* want? Is it so hard to dream about winning the lottery so that I can do just that. So that I can also take trips to fantastic places, and see interesting things, and to. not. worry. about things like money and jobs and being stuck.

I sometimes feel that I’m living in the wrong place. I could invision myself in someplace fantastic like… Las Vegas, or New York. Though I’ve never been to New York, so my idea of what it’s like there is like two ends of a spectrum. See, there’s the “Sex and the City” type of New York.. THAT’s where I’d like to be. Writing a sex column, living in a nice brownstone, etc. Then of course, there is that other end of the spectrum.. the one that is the rough area, and I’d have to worry about peeking out my window. Yeah, that one? I don’t want to live there. -laughs-  However, I have been to Las Vegas, and I love it. No, really… I LOVE it. I like the excitement, the lights, the action, the atmosphere, and who wouldn’t like to be able to say they are from some place exciting like VEGAS BABY! Oh, but no. That’s not my reality. See, I’m trapped (yes, trapped lol) in a middle of nowhere. Oh sure, we are a ‘city’ and there are a few things here to do. But, in my dreams I’m living in Vegas or NYC. I also have an odd fascination with Ivy League Schools. Mainly Harvard and Yale. Ahhh, to go back and do it all over again.

Now, back to reality… I’m in Oklahoma. And, you know.. we are “OK”. In all seriousness, there are some things that are nice about Oklahoma. The cost of living is fairly low, people are extremely friendly and love to talk, we have casinos (on Indian Land), we can NOW get TATTOOs! (that’s right, welcome to the real world now baby!), we have the lottery (there’s still hope of me winning my millions), and our Bricktown is now becoming a ‘mini’ San Antonio or West End.

Until that day that I’m living in a Dream City, I’ll be here… coming to you from Oklahoma, as if I’m living in the places that I dream of. And I’ll keep being that “City Girl” that’s from a not-so-big city for now.

Drinking and blogging. These two activities really shouldn’t go together. All that I can say is thank GOODNESS for Microsoft Word. –lol- I needed to relax and have some wine tonight. I only drink socially, and usually my social activities do not contain alcohol. However, I had a rough week and felt the urge (not need, but urge) to have a couple and unwind. Of course, in doing so – my mind goes in many different directions.
 

My job is stressing me out. I’m now going to have to travel a little bit. Sure, it’s only every other week, for only one day… but, that’s not the point. See, the point is the fact that after being with the company for over 4 years, I really shouldn’t have to travel. I did my traveling time… when I first started. So, that set my week off bad when my boss sprung it on me on Monday… then, I trained at that facility on Wednesday.  And, I was already scheduled to go to a different facility today. So, I’ve done a lot of driving this week… and I’ve been exhausted from it all.
 

I talked to a long time friend tonight, and that was awesome. I really miss her being near. We grew up together, and I love her like a sister. We lost communication for awhile, but managed to get back in touch and everything… before she moved. I’m proud of her. She’s doing so well, and doing what makes HER happy. She deserves it. I’m hoping that I can get out west to see her. It would be a BLAST to hang out again. I wish we wouldn’t have lost touch for so long… but I guess it’s bound to happen sometimes, right? Anyway, was nice to talk to her… we laughed A LOT!
 

So now I’m sitting here… on my 3^rd and ½ glass of wine. Actually, “Sparkling Wine”… the bubbles kinda tickle. The bad thing about that is when left to drink alone (which rarely happens, like I said, I hardly ever drink) I start reminiscing. Remembering different times in my life, realizing how much I’ve changed, and what exactly has stayed the same. I find myself sometimes wondering if I’ve lost myself somewhere a long the way… or maybe it’s that I’m still trying to find “me”. I mean, I know we always continue to grow… and change, but sometimes I wonder.
 

I’m still struggling with what all to post. On one hand, it’s my blog – I should post whatever I want. On the other hand, I’m sometimes worried that I’ll give too much of myself away if I blog whatever I want without holding anything back. I worry about what friends and family will think… I shouldn’t, but I find that sometimes I do. Writing is supposed to be my outlet, and in a private setting – it is. I want to be exposed, but I’m cautious in my blog. I’m trying to sort it all out so that I can write what I want, and not have that fear. So, this whole thing might be a slow process… but, rest assured… it’s coming. I’ll get into the habit of posting in here, as opposed to my private journal. Well, about most things anyway. ~grins.

This stuff is just great! Kaboom is for cleaning. And well, I went on another cleaning spree. I’m not sure where all this is coming from… but I’m digging in and deep cleaning things. I went to take a shower this morning, and decided that before I did that… I needed to deep clean the entire bathroom. That’s right, yours truly was down on the floor and scrubbing. Bathrooms are never any fun to clean. I cleaned the floor, the toilet, the shower, the sink, and even started going through one of the cabinets. Then, I had to stop –take a shower and get ready, because I had to go by stuff for the Superbowl Celebration! (Which btw, part of the Superbowl was “ok” — then it just went downhill as far as excitement is concerned for me. And the commercials, there were only a couple that made me laugh… ahh I miss the good old days of the Budweiser Frogs & Lizards..)

After cleaning and doing all the shopping… I made a quick run to my parents and visited for a bit, plus dropped off some Pepsi to my Dad for helping me out with the whole Cable/DVR/DVD/VCR senario. And well, my parents are just always helping me out in one way or another… they are always there for me when I need them. I’ve very lucky to have them and be so close to them!

Anyway, now I’m exhausted. And I just remembered that I have homework that is due tomorrow! ~ugh~ I better get on it!

I had one of those weird, constructive days. You know the type.
I yawned and stretched trying to get out of bed this morning. I didn’t get to *sleep* until around 3:30am… I (for some unknown reason) set my alarm for 8:30am. Once it went off, I was up. I stumbled my way into the living room, and had almost settled on the couch when I realized two things. 1.) I needed coffee something fiercely. and 2.) I had to see how the E-Bay Auction was going! — So, finally.. I grabbed some coffee, and sat down to surf the E-Bay-crack. Yes, E-Bay is indeed like crack. It’s so addicting.. like dorritos type of addicting. Anyway, I surfed around and drank my coffee so happy and carefree…ready for a relaxing day. That was until I got hungry. Somehow, I went from going to microwave a couple of pieces of bacon to have with some toast… to, “Hmmm, I don’t have any papertowels, so that cancels the micro-bacon out…… ohh, let me clean out my fridge… oh and the stove… oh and the hoodvent… and the cabinet (how did THAT get in here??)… and the floor. So, after about 3 hours… I was done. Dirty sponges, rags, fume-filled kitchen now sparkles. — but, when I sat back down at my desk… I realized, I can’t have a sparkling kitchen with a dirty desk! And, off I went again, cleaning off the desk, moving the phone from the desk to the wall, and dusting EVERYTHING I could get my hands (or dustbroom) on!

Ahhh….. productivity.

I did relax the rest of the day… did some cleaning out of folders (graphic design stuff) from the computer, watched The Black Dahlia tonight; I wasn’t impressed really as far as a *movie* goes. To me, it had the typical plots and plot twists, and I pretty much had it figured out as the characters were introduced. I have the book, so perhaps it will be better. Books are normally better than the movie, in my experience.

Anyway, I guess I should catch some sleep (or try to) since it’s almost 2:30am. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I’m playing around with some themes.. so, please ignore all the changes of back and forth. ~laughs~ I’ll settle on one surely.. but for now.. just think of it like Christmas for your Eyes! -lol-