Normal Again?
Posted by ~StoriTomorrow things go back to being ‘normal’. And by normal, I mean things are going back to how they have to be, minus a very big spot in my heart.
My aunts go home tomorrow, and I know they are so happy to get home… I know that their families want them home. I so understand that. Yet, for me, it’s like once they leave… I know things will go on. I won’t have something to keep me busy and to focus on, as much. I’ll have to go on about day to day life, without my grandma. I miss her so much. So very much. I’ll miss all the phone calls, the quick visits, the long visits, the holidays, the big hugs. I’ll go back to working normal, without family comfort at night. Of course, I have my mom and dad here, but the routines will be going back to normal. And, there will be more ‘missing’ time.
I’m strong, I know we are all strong… and we will pull through this and make it. I know that. But, God, I miss her so much…. and it’s hard to think about it all being over, and that I’ll have to hang onto the memories, and keep her close in my heart.
I’m trying to keep from having a panic attack. I feel this heaviness in my chest, and warm burning. I’m taking slow deep breaths, and repeating over and over that it will all be okay. Because, it will, won’t it…