Have a Happy Day!

May 10th, 2009 Posted in family, life, me | no comment »

Happy Mother’s day all you mother’s out there. Past, present, future. Whether you are an adoptive mother, someone who is in the role of being a mom even though you aren’t, or you are a mother in anyway… today is your day. I hope that you have it full of love and laughter. Take time to enjoy it. You’ve earned it!

Today, my son would have been 15 years old. It’s been a reflective day for me, thinking about how different my life would be right now. I go through phases of.. am I still a mom, can I still celebrate those joys? I know, once a mom… always a mom, but there are times that I think it’s silly of me to celebrate. I only had 16 days with my son. I wouldn’t give up anything in the world to have missed those days though. I carried him, felt him, loved him for 9 months and 16 days. And, even if I knew the outcome would be the same, I wouldn’t change it for a second. The most beautiful and special boy in the world was a part of my life, and will always live on in my heart.

I look around and see children, teens, adults, fighting with their parents and family members, and I hate it. Do they not realize the precious gift that they have right there in front of them? Put aside all those silly differences, all the unimportant disagreements… cherish the time you have. It can all be gone in a blink of an eye, and  you don’t want to sit there and think.. ‘if only I would have said this or that, did this or that.” Make the best of the here and now.

~steps off my soapbox~

Anyway, have a very Happy Mother’s Day!!

xoxo, ~pretty

Another year….

Dec 27th, 2008 Posted in holidays, life, me | one comment »

Well, I’m another year older. Whee.

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a nice day. Had a nice brunch, did some shopping, spent some time around family, and then a nice dinner.

Today, I’ve been lazy… laying around watching movies (The Women), watching trashy reality TV (The Real Housewives of Atlanta), and chatted some.

I know, I can hardly contain the excitement, too.

Soulmates (version 1)

Dec 22nd, 2008 Posted in love, me | no comment »

It’s late, so this probably won’t make sense.

What do you do, when you feel that you’ve met your soulmate…. but you feel that you might lose them due to things that are not under anyone’s control. Outisde influences. Complicated situations. And, all you want to do is hang on tight.

Is it selfish to hang on?

Bah-Humbug.

Dec 18th, 2008 Posted in holidays, me | no comment »

Usually, this time of year is magical for me. I love the weather, the way the snow falls and makes everything… different. I love the music, the movies, the laughter, the lights, the pretty bows and wrapping paper, the decorations, the friendships, the family… the love. I love giving presents and seeing that persons face light up. I like making people happy. Every year, I look forward to Christmas.

Except, this year. For some reason, I can’t get into the Christmas Spirit. I’ve tried, I want to, but it just seems out of my grasp. I’m not sure what it is. Well, that’s not true. I kinda do know. It’s a multitude of stressful things that seem to be dive-bombing me lately. I know that I don’t have it worse than anyone else. I know that there are many, people who have much much worse than I do. But this year, I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere, pull a big blanket over me and disappear for a little while.

I’m hoping this goes away soon. I’d hate to miss out on the magic of Christmas, when I know that I’ll regret it later.

Crash Course

Apr 7th, 2008 Posted in me | no comment »

I have a wonderful family. Couldn’t dream for better.

I have great friends. Couldn’t ask for better.

The job, that’s a little sketchy, but.. eh, it pays the bills. Well, most of them.

But… there are days, that I’m unsure about everything. There are days that I can’t paint the smile on, and pretend that everything is okay. There are times, that it doesn’t *feel* okay.  There are times that I feel lost, vulnerable, and alone… even when I’m in a crowded room. There are times that I’m sad, and can’t explain way or what caused it. There are times, that my dreams get the best of me and I get wrapped up in the ‘what-ifs’ that I forget about the reality for a bit.

There are times… like now. A crash course of life, and I find myself standing in the middle of the road, with a million different ways to go, and no map.

Sometimes Brandnames -do- Matter

Oct 25th, 2007 Posted in me, shopping | no comment »

Many years ago, back in the day of blazing blue eye shadow, stripper-red lips and nails, magic marker thick black eyeliner, I had a big makeup case (aka: Caboodle). This thing was HUGE. It had three or four trays that would flair out on each side, once the lid was lifted, also two or three trays that lifted up in the middle, and it was deep. I could hold everything in there… and believe me I did. That thing was full with whatever was on sale, usually ‘Wet-N-Wild” brand makeup. It was a treat to have something like Cover Girl, because I was definitely not ‘born with it’ so maybe it was Maybelline. I was obsessed with makeup. That was when; being obsessed with makeup and hair products was the ‘in thing’. All my friends were, so why not. I didn’t have any sisters or brothers (no, not spoiled… just well loved), but I had a mom and two aunts. My family really is who I consider my BEST friends. No question about that. Growing up with my mom and aunts, I was surrounded by estrogen. There were men, sure, but the female power in my family, is something fierce. Whether they are working outside the home doing what they have to, to provide a better life for their families, or staying at home raising their children, or a mixture of both… the women in my family are well, simply amazing. But, that’s another topic all together. Now, back to the makeup. I learned how to apply my makeup via watching and learning from my mom and aunts. My grandma did the hair-do teaching, she is now a retired beautician and ran her own shop out of her house for most of my childhood. We went through the horrific AWESOME 80’s. Makeup was loud and proud. Then, there was a time that I just simply did the basics. I got tired of all the fuss. As I grew older, my makeup case became a bag, and contained the essentials, but no ‘tools of the trade’. I didn’t care about brushes and sponges; I didn’t care about shades or shapes. All that I cared about was that it covered what it had to, and that I seemed to feel a little better when wearing it.
 

As I’ve grown older (okay, actually just lately, and a lot of influence by my best friend, V) I’ve become re-obsessed with makeup. Only this time? I’ve realized that it really DOES matter what’s in your makeup case. That’s right, C-A-S-E… not bag. I’ve traded in the bag and got a pink(shush)-cammo train case makeup case. And guess what, it’s not big enough now. I have a makeup brush set, complete with it’s own special rollcase to protect it. I’ve switched shopping the Cover Girl and Maybelline aisles and started shopping at Ulta and Sephora. I am… a makeup snob. I can’t help it. There’s so much to choose from. There’s glitter and sparkles. There’s deep and dark. There’s bright and light. I have every color under the rainbow and then some. I’ve discovered Urban Decay and Too Faced.  Gotten lost amongst Smashbox and Red Earth. I don’t know how I ever survived without Bare Escentuals. I can’t get enough of OPI. It’s insane really. And the names, I mean really… who can resist? Midnight Cowboy Rides Again, Grind, Fishnet, Gash, Last Call, and the list goes on and on. I walk in, innocently enough, to buy ONE tube of mascara and some foundation… Way too much money later, I walk out with a bag full with: 1 glitter liquid eyeliner, 1 tube of eyeshadow primer, 1 glitteresque eyeliner, 1 very sparkly eyeshadow… all via this neat little thing: Best of Urban. Oh, and my mascara and foundation. I was so happy. This is when, I realized…. I have a problem. I’m a makeup-whore. You may need to send backup. Send me to a support group, do an intervention! Either that, or just send cash. Oh, and I take paypal… (umm, thanks V!)

A little of this and that

Apr 9th, 2007 Posted in blog stuff, me | no comment »

I’ve been wondering lately which direction I want my blog to go. Over the years, I’ve noticed that anytime that I have a public journal I tend to censor myself. I’ve wondered why I do this, and though I try not to… I find myself doing it anyway.

So, that leads me to wonder… why do I care? It is my blog after all. I am an adult. I have real emotions, real thoughts, real desires.. .and while I may not be that single gal living it up in a big city, I’m still a woman. So I’m curious… how do other bloggers get over the silent-monster and just put it all out there?

Maybe I should just put a disclaimer up…. “Warning: This blog may make you mad, it make offend, and you may find it socially unacceptable. But.. it’s all me.” :D