•• Pretty Distraction ••

Usually, this time of year is magical for me. I love the weather, the way the snow falls and makes everything… different. I love the music, the movies, the laughter, the lights, the pretty bows and wrapping paper, the decorations, the friendships, the family… the love. I love giving presents and seeing that persons face light up. I like making people happy. Every year, I look forward to Christmas.

Except, this year. For some reason, I can’t get into the Christmas Spirit. I’ve tried, I want to, but it just seems out of my grasp. I’m not sure what it is. Well, that’s not true. I kinda do know. It’s a multitude of stressful things that seem to be dive-bombing me lately. I know that I don’t have it worse than anyone else. I know that there are many, people who have much much worse than I do. But this year, I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere, pull a big blanket over me and disappear for a little while.

I’m hoping this goes away soon. I’d hate to miss out on the magic of Christmas, when I know that I’ll regret it later.

So…. it’s been awhile (as someone pointed out ~ahems~) since I’ve written anything here. So, I thought I’d give an update or a crazy post, at least.

Vegas was wonderful, for me, it was probably the best year yet. Though, last year at the Blue Man Group is giving it a run for it’s money. It was so much fun to be there with my Aunt and Uncle. We went to see the American Superstars show, and it was awesome as always! If you are ever in Vegas, really, you should check it out. It’s at the Stratosphere, and it’s so entertaining. Also, we went to play the Price Is Right show at Bally’s. It was okay, but nothing like we imagined. I probably wouldn’t do it again… the prizes weren’t all that great, especially for as much money as they made on the tickets. I really wanted to see Phantom at the Venetian, but wasn’t able to… maybe next time.

On Thursday, I woke up feeling a bit sick. I had a chill the night before, but shrugged it off to the desert coolness, and alergies that morning. Sadly, it got worse as teh day went on. By the time I was on the air plane, I had a fever. That was not a fun trip, that’s for sure. So, I’ve been sick ever since. A horrible cough, some fever off and on, and even ended up missing work Monday. It’s finally starting to ease up. The coughing fits aren’t near as often, so hopefully not much longer and I’ll be all good and new again. Wish me luck with that!

School is going okay… it’s a little rough this semester, but I know I’ll pull through it. I had a Chapter test when I came home from Vegas, that didn’t go so well. Then, I was still sick, but had a Mid-term on Thursday. Good news is that I passed that, which is much better than I expected! Now that I’m feeling better, I hope that I can get back on track with my homework.

Other things are going well for me. I’m finding happiness, and I’m excited about things. Without going too much into that, just know that I’m in a different place than I was before, and it can only get better, right? …. right.

So, that’s just a quick (or long and rambling) update from me. Who knows, I might just start doing the whole posting regularly thing. I know, shocking.

It really is a pain getting ready for traveling. Vacations are great; it’s the preparation that’s a bitch. I’m packing. And by packing, I mean that I’m throwing clothes all over the place, then re-folding them with the handy shirt folder thingy  (how’s that for technical talk, impressive, I know).  Anyway, it’s great… it makes packing look so pretty. That is until the air port security people rummage through your bags, they don’t have a handy shirt folder thingy, and they just shove it back in. Thanks.  And, by packing, I also mean that I’m thinking of everything that I could ‘possibly’ need, and trying to decide what I really could do without. The choices that are the hardest are… is the mp3 player all charged up (Check), does it have all the songs that I need on it? (I think—check), Do I take the Nintendo DS? Do I take the laptop? Cameras and camcorders, and phones, and … and… and. It’s becoming a big production. And did I remember to pack my medicine? Ugh. So much to do, and so little time.
My flight leaves at 8:15am, and thanks to the time zone change, I’ll arrive in Vegas at 9:00am. All of that sounds great, so when I’m groaning and bitching in the morning, about having to be at the air port by 6:30am… someone, please calmly remind me of HOW GREAT THIS IS!
So, I’ll either see you on the trip, or when I get back. Either way… VEGAS HERE I COME!

Lately, everytime that I find a new blog design that I want to give a try, it gives me errors. Why is it so hard to find a design, that is appealing to readers, functional for the blogger, and lets me change the masthead easily. Sure, I know what you’re saying. I could try and learn all the coding needed, and just make my own. Except, I don’t really want to.

This weekend, I’m going to take the time and update my blogroll over there ~~>. I hardly read a lot of those blogs, and I read some others that aren’t listed, so time to update it all. Know of a blog that I *have* to check out? Leave me a comment and let me know.

So, I’m out of town right now for business. Basically, I’m becoming a ‘certified’ trainer. Now, mind you, I’ve already trained two new employees, but now I’ll be certified to do it. So, my company flew me out on Sunday afternoon. Yes, mothers’ day. It kinda sucked, but my mom wasn’t feeling well anyway so it wasn’t like I had plans. Anyway, so I’m in Tennessee. I haven’t been here, since 2002. So much has changed. It’s still beautiful though. I’m sad that I haven’t had a chance to get out and about and check everything out. Hopefully I’ll get that chance in a couple of months when I come back for 5 year service award banquet. Sometimes I forget that I’ve been with my company for 5 ½ years, and then there are other times, that it seems like I’ve been with them for 50 years. I guess it’s like that with every place. The home office is really nice though. It makes me wish that I lived here and could work at corporate, instead of ‘out in the field’. I think that there are more benefits at corporate. Main on being that they can wear jeans. EVERY DAY.

Okay, as some of you may know (or if you don’t, this is a FYI), I have a new puppy. Well, he’s about 20 weeks old. He’s a miniature daschund, dark greyish black with grey dappling, one crystal blue eye and one brown eye, he is named Auzie, and he is the most adorable.puppy.EVER. No, really, he is. In fact, he’s so adorable, that I can’t help myself sometimes, I just want to pick on him. His reactions are priceless. Case in point:

The other night the puppy and I were curled up on the couch, watching The Hills (Yes, that’s right, The Hills… ). So, in the middle of a commercial, Auzie yawns. I couldn’t resist it, I put my finger on his tongue. Which of course he gently bit down on my finger, then shook his head around a little bit. But, what happened next, just left me speechless.

He looked at me, with menacing eyes, and firmly placed his tongue against my leg. He glanced up at me, not licking my leg, oh no… just held his tongue there, and I swear, I heard him say… “Don’t.Make.Me.Lick.You.I.WILL.Do.It.”

I have a wonderful family. Couldn’t dream for better.

I have great friends. Couldn’t ask for better.

The job, that’s a little sketchy, but.. eh, it pays the bills. Well, most of them.

But… there are days, that I’m unsure about everything. There are days that I can’t paint the smile on, and pretend that everything is okay. There are times, that it doesn’t *feel* okay.  There are times that I feel lost, vulnerable, and alone… even when I’m in a crowded room. There are times that I’m sad, and can’t explain way or what caused it. There are times, that my dreams get the best of me and I get wrapped up in the ‘what-ifs’ that I forget about the reality for a bit.

There are times… like now. A crash course of life, and I find myself standing in the middle of the road, with a million different ways to go, and no map.

I admire those girls, and men for that matter, who can write honestly and openly.. for the public. It seems that everytime that i make up my mind, that I am going to just throw it all out there, I start getting nervous and end up holding back. It’s like, I want to get it out there and just be me, I think that there would be something rather freeing in being able to do that. Yet, when I sit down to let the words flow out, I find myself holding back. What if so and so sees this or that. What if they judge me. What if someone from work finds out. What if that friend finds out. What if he finds my blog. What if she finds my blog. You get the picture. It’s frustrating to me. I write about everything, love… life… silliness… goals.. everything, in a private journal.. and yes, it is nice.. it would also be nice to be part of the whole blog-o-sphere out here.

What I want to know, is how to get from point A… to point B. To fall into the ranks of those that you see on my blogroll over there ~~~>. Yes, how do I … get there.

You would think, that after the past few years of participating in Black Friday shopping, that I would eventually… decide to learn from the past and NOT GO. I mean, there’s never really anything that I have to have and will die without. We are never that pressed for items that we can’t pay a little extra. Sure, some things are great deals. But, really. Man oh man.

This year was a little different. Instead of dominating a few stores, we chose one. We picked Wal-Mart because they had the most items we wanted, and since we both weren’t off work today, it made the most sense. Sense. Right, remember that word.

This event should be a movie. Seriously. People were nuts. I couldn’t sleep Thanksgiving night. I didn’t end up getting to sleep until around 2:00am. I woke up at 4:00am to rush to Wal-Mart because the sale started at 5:00am. Drove by Best Buy just to see, and it was horrible. People were lined up all over the parking lot and building. I could live without my GuildWars game for awhile. Finally, at Wal-Mart…. I twisted and turned the shopping cart through the store. Managed to not hit many people, and managed to get all the items that were wanted. Wal-Mart had the items in the oddest of places though. Movies and CDs that were on the ’sale’ were by the lunchmeats and seafood. Other items were all over the store in places you just would not normally look. They had them on the pallets and out in the middle of the aisles everywhere. I made it out without too many problems. But, let me tell you. There is NOTHING you can buy at the store, that is that serious, that you find yourself… feeling the need to act a fool. I mean, come on. Here’s what happened…

I had went to the back of electronics (yeah, I know… this wasn’t my smartest move). They had PS2 games on sale for $19.98. This is a great deal, considering some of the games run around $39 or $40 easily. I overheard people talking about where the games were located that were on sale, and I quickly gently made my way back there. Now, apparently there was a laptop and a desktop on sale too. Let me tell you, people are serious about their PCs. Anyway, I got the games I wanted, and started to move OUT OF THE WAY. This guy comes out of the back with one of the desktops, and asks me if this is the one that I wanted. I smiled and politely said “No thank you, I wasn’t shopping for any PCs.” The lady behind me told the guy she was waiting for a laptop, and he said he would be right back and would go get it for her. Now, I’m trying to move the shopping cart (Full of stuff, all wanted items — but will be sorted through and weeded out for what we really wanted to buy) out of the electronics area. This other bitch, heffer, woman  lady screams says to the guy that SHE’s been waiting for a PC! and she turns around and starts heading right towards me. It was like we were going to play chicken or something. You know, where two cars go really fast towards each other, and the first one to swerve is the chicken, and loses. Not the smartest game, by the way. Anyway, I smile and say excuse me, and proceed to tell her that I’m just trying to get out of this area, and then she can have my place (since I was closer to the PC guy than she was). She runs into my cart, I say “Sorry” and she says… are you ready for this? No really, are you ready? She says “That’s okay…. BITCH!” So, I said as sweetly as I possibly could.. “Well, that’s a good thing, thanks BITCH!”. The people around laughed, and said that’s what I get for being nice. I was just shocked, that she was this serious about a pc, when I really was trying to help her and move out of her way… so she could be closer to this one item, that she obviously was going to DIE WITH OUT. Far be it from me, to let someone die because they missed out on a PC.

Finally made it out of the store by 6:15am and went to have breakfast. Came home, tried to watch TV and fell asleep for a few hours. Ahhh, what an event.

It’s official… Holiday Shopping Season has begun!!